


you are the only exception

by daegued



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Happy Ending, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Sorry, M/M, This Is Sad, insecure donghyuck, not even donghyuck's personality just mine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-06-24 13:28:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15631608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daegued/pseuds/daegued
Summary: it's 1:05 AM, the thoughts usually hit him at 3.Donghyuck is dissatisfied with himself and mark is there to chase all the bad thoughts away.





	you are the only exception

**Author's Note:**

> another big word jumble, i hope you all know this isn't how i view donghyuck it's just me using donghyuck to talk about how i'm feeling rn as i always get a lil blue after it passes 12. i'm sorry hyuckie i'm a horrible writer and you don't deserve this.

Donghyuck remembered why he doesn't stay up too late, the thoughts, the wonders, they're all a big pain in the ass.  
he's never been good at friendships, choosing to distance himself from a certain person when he feels like he said too much, opened up a little, had his heart on his sleeve, donghyuck is sad. 

Donghyuck is sad and he knows why, it's him, donghyuck's the problem, he's not sad because of anyone, he's not sad because of something someone did to him, he's sad because he's donghyuck. because he can't talk about his mental health and he can't talk about his feelings, he physically cannot, (the one time he told mark about one of his struggles, he felt so utterly pathetic and laughable he swore to never do it again) and he bottles and bottles them all up until his poor head can't take it any longer and so he bursts into tears as soon as his head hits the pillow.

Donghyuck is sad because he loses interest in things and people so quickly, he hates himself for being so ultimately uninterested in everything, he's not studious, he's into art but he doesn't have the will, he's into music but he doesn't have the talent, he's into meeting new people but he, he wants to get to know them and he does, because donghyuck has a way of talking to people and making them open up to him, he has a way of making them believe he'll always stay by their side and never betray their trust and he doesn't, he doesn't betrayed their trust but he doesn't particularly stay by their side. as soon as one of his friends confides in him and tells him their problems and worries, donghyuck feels swamped, he feels so horrible and he feels horrible for feeling horrible about this matter that doesn't even concern him, when people open up to him he takes it as his own emotional baggage, he feels awful and he feels like suddenly he is the worst human being and friend alive.  
his friend is struggling yet he can't get himself to talk properly to them again as it's just too hard, he doesn't know what to say and he doesn't know how he can help them. 

Donghyuck is sad because he's just so bad at everything and he hurts the people he loves, he's sad because he's not good enough and he doesn't deserve friends and he doesn't deserve to breathe the same air as them or eat the same food, he feels unworthy of every single thing possible and it's tearing him apart. he feels like he's slowly drowning because it's so hard, everything is so hard and painful and he's fallen into a big cold puddle, he's blue and painfully aware of everything around him.

 

but there's a loophole, and that loophole is mark, mark is there, mark tries his best to understand, mark comforts him without knowing the matter, donghyuck finds solace in mark, although he doesn't feel worthy of him, he can never let him go, because mark is mark and to donghyuck mark is the only exception, for everything, mark is donghyuck's comfort, he's donghyuck's home.


End file.
